I lived in Harvey, Louisiana for about four and a half months. Let’s be honest here, Harvey is not the nicest place I have ever lived. In fact, my first day driving around Harvey I had tears in my eyes and kept thinking to myself, “This place is so ugly.” Anyway, I lived there and survived it. Oh, by the way I was serving a mission at the time. JaNean Myers and I were companions in Harvey and luckily we got along pretty well.
One day we were at an apartment complex visiting a guy, upon returning to the car we looked at the strip mall across the street. I read one of the store’s signs and about peed my pants from laughing so hard.
If you want the crap scared out of you, then tomorrow at 8 am listen to 101.9 or http://www.1019theend.com/ (click the Listen Live link) to listen to the Ghost Investigators findings of a reportedly haunted place in Lehi, UT that they investigated last week.
Then on Friday, Halloween, they will be playing their recordings of their other EVPs (or scary ghost voices) that they have recorded over the years.
Just tonight at my hometown Harts Gas Station, I was checked out by my former high school flame (Mxke Jxhnsxn). Well, it was a very one sided teenage love affair. He had no idea that I even existed as I stalked him down the school hall. He never noticed my anorexic (and no I wasn’t, thanks for asking) looking body, permed & Sun-In blonde hair complete with large bangs, and pegged jeans with Converse. Every night I prayed he would ask to give me a ride home in his brown Mazda RX7. Each night I prayed to run my fingers through his long brown Andre’ Agassi-esque mullet hair. I mean his beautiful lion/wild stallion mane of hair. But thank goodness for unanswered prayers.
My former flame’s hair is now short (at least he doesn’t have a bald spot) and ewwww, lamb chop side burns. What??? He looks like he could be an accountant all of the way down to the pleated Docker plants.
He turned and gave me a “How you do’in look” as he parked his Toyota Forerunner (he obviously hasn’t done too well on the money front) next to my car. I’m pretty sure my face turned red as I pretended to be looking behind me to back my car out. What I wouldn’t have given to have him check me out 19 years ago!!! And yes, I am that old.
As I drove away in my Lexus, I looked in the mirror and thought dang; he likes straight black hair not blonde permed hair. And then I thanked heaven above for my unanswered prayers. I could be driving a Forerunner.
Here is my former high school flame’s picture with a disguise to protect his identity and I was able to snap a current picture of him.
You will be relieved (like me) that there are unanswered prayers.
There are four days until Halloween and things are starting to get really disturbing. Tell us, what causes a person to take their clothes off, ask their special someone to come into the bedroom with them and then make the request to paint a giant pumpkin on their a--, I mean gluteus maximus? If that wasn’t troubling enough someone decided to take a picture of the frightening mural and then that person sent the picture their closest 10 friends and each one of them sent it to their 10 closest friends and so on and so on. Those of you in a political mood (or not in a political mood) may enjoy this picture. We love this photo that makes John McCain look like one of the lizard people from the movie “V” from the 80’s. This blog was not created to share our political opinions because each of you should be smart enough to make your own. But if happen to come across some tiny piece of gold like this photo we must share it even if its only purpose is to bring a smile to your fabulous face.
Voting is now closed and it is time to reveal the official results to our scientific poll. Who is sexier David Lee Roth or Burt Reynolds?
Are you ready for this?
David: 5 votes Burt: 5 votes Undecided: 2 votes (Why? Is it really that difficult? I don't think so.)
Burt won! He is the sexier of the two. I know what some of you are thinking, how does Burt win when they both have 5 votes? Because I get to write for this blog and I have the final vote. Thanks for playing and watch for the next poll. We will make sure that it will be as interesting as this one.
So the conversation starts with a comment about shaving, I know, it seems pretty obscure but then the conversation developed even more. He, I mean he/she said, "You can tell the guys that are serious at the gym because they shave their chests. Look at David Lee Roth. Everyone thought he had a great set of abs but really it was just covered up with hair."
Now let's flashback to a couple of weeks ago, Monica sent Kim and "he/she" an article from a road bike magazine about men who shave their legs. It talked about how some sports, like swimming and biking, will have pro-athletes that shave their body hair to help reduce drag. He/she read the article and mocked it saying, "I would never shave my legs for a competition."
Huh, a contradiction I would say. He/she is mocking the road bike racers but if it is just a case of working-out-in-the –gym then shaving body hair is okay. Does it really matter more if you are hairless in your local gym or to win a competition? I think he, dang it – I mean "he/she" has it wrong.
Now, we would like to take a poll of the readers of this amazing blog, so please comment. We have two pictures below. One: David Lee Roth in his heyday of Van Halen. Two: Burt Reynolds naked on a bearskin rug. Who do you think is sexier?
Deep thoughts from David Lee Roth: I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. Deep thoughts from Burt Reynolds: You can only hold your stomach in for so many years.
While staying in the luxury of the Renaissance Chancery Court in London, England, we felt like royalty. Walking into the lobby you were hit with the most relaxing smells and were instantly overtaken by the beauty. The hotel had the most comfortable beds. Yes, hotel beds that were comfortable and pillows that were like resting your head on clouds. We loved the Renaissance Chancery Court. It was sad to leave such a restful place and it was so much better than the Art Deco hotel in Paris; more on that hotel and Paris another day.
The hotel is located in the West End section of London. We were minutes away from the theatres. We were ten minutes away from The Thames, Westminster Abbey, Parliament, and the London Eye. But, there was a cozy little place that caught Monica's eye one day.
One afternoon we had the afternoon free from the rest of the tour group and had our little adventures around the city, again that is another story. But upon our return Monica said that she wanted to take a little walk. The children were not interested and wanted to return to the hotel room (of course, LUXURY awaited). So we walked down the street and there it was. On the other side of the street but still, it was there, The Bung Hole. If only it had been opened we could have entered and taken in the ambience, the smells, the . . . everything that it held inside those walls for us. But alas, it was too late and we were leaving the next day. But tell us, wouldn't you want to enter the Bung Hole?
It started out as a very ordinary Saturday. I decided to take my two orphans (a.k.a. my children) to meet Kim for breakfast at Mimi’s Café. When what to my beautiful green eyes should appear? But an odd little man on rollerblades in the parking lot. He was pretending to play hockey but to us it was a beautiful rendition of a classical ballet. Without much delay, he removed his shirt as I gasped in horror! Just when I thought to immediately drive away, he started gliding across the pavement like a fairy princess with the parking lot his stage. An overweight ballerina, his feet were so dainty, his body so rotund. The black hair on his back, oh how it glistened in the autumn sun. I was mesmerized, fascinated, and stunned. “Mandy” by Barry Manilow started playing on the radio and I thought what a perfect name for the merry little man, Man-dee the Manerina. Oh Mandy, you came and gave me a laugh without taking. Oh Mandy…..
Awww….the fickle Utah weather. Last weekend stinky snow. This weekend sun and swimming with cousins. How cute are they, I ask? Cuter than yours! With the exception of my kid that looks like a living skeleton (just kidding, my son). It’s pretty sad when a 3 ¾ year old has bigger muscles than a 13 ¾ year old!!! Our pool will close in a few days for the winter. Boohoo. We’re sad already!!!
So last night I was instant messaging with my friend. We were talking about Gerard Butler and Keith Urban when I made a very clever comment. My friend responded with a comment that included "LOL." Quickly she responded again and said, "I have never typed that before. It's just not me." My comeback was "huh, she actually said LOL."
You know, I'm not into little phrases like LOL, TGIF, OMG and the like. I must be getting old because I just can't bring myself to say things like OMG. The realization is that (sigh) I'm getting old. It is kind of cute when my 8-year old niece says OMG but I still had the thought "huh, she just said that." So I had to ponder, what stupid thing I used to say when I was . . . so much younger. And then it came to me, the catch phrase of my younger years. Gag me with a spoon. I don't know the origin of the phrase and I really don't want to know.
The image that comes to me is a girl of 15 to 16 years old, probably blond, standing in the middle of a gaggle of girls about the same age. She has permed hair that is in a ponytail that is shooting off the side of her head. Her clothes are Units brand with a very bright red shirt and a white t-shirt underneath (layers, remember) and white stretch stirrup pants. Her shoes are plastic jellys and she has two pairs of socks on, red and white, of course. This trendy young woman has the bottom part of her red shirt tied into a knot to offset the ponytail. Don't forget the accessories of jelly bracelets and rings of neon green, yellow and orange to show her electric personality. As she is telling her story of the night before when her brother told her to get off the phone and how rude he was, her response was, "Gag me with a spoon." The sea of pegged pants and jelly shoes roared with laughter.
I am glad that those days have passed. I can deal with hearing or reading LOL, TGIF, OMG and more but please don't expect to hear it from me.
Today is a sad day, if you really want to know why just Google who Gerard Butler is dating. Visual aid: I’m standing with my arms outstretched to the heavens screeching, Nooooooo!!! Come on, really, is he BLIND??? That is if he hasn’t already caught something from her that causes blindness.
So to cheer me up I pulled out my new winter shoes to look at. I know you’ll enjoy looking at them as much as I do.
Here is a charming email we received from one of our favorite people in the whole wide world. You know who you are. (And you had better be reading our blog daily if you really are addicted) Thanks. A lot.
Yesterday, Saturday, October 11th, we participated in the Trek sponsored Breast Cancer Ride. It was a cold morning and we even spotted some snow falling in the valley. Luckily, we did not have snow during the ride just cold, freezing rain. There was a pretty good number that showed up even though the weather was wrotten. As you can see, everyone was really bundled up to keep warm.
There were two ride options to choose between, the 10 mile ride and the 25 mile ride. Normally, we would choose to take the longer ride but since it was so cold we decided to ride the 10 mile ride. As you ride through Lehi and almost get to American Fork there is a corner that the rider needs to take to get you back to the Trek store. Unfortunately one of missed the turn and ended up riding the entire 25 miles. Any normal day this would not be a big deal but since it was so cold it was not a bonus and resulted in a frozen face and body.
We want to thank Jeff & Kris from Trek for making this such a fun event from schwag bags to food to donating prizes for the drawing.We wish that we had informed more people of this event but we each invited someone to ride with us. Here is a picture of Kim's Aunt Lisa who did come along for the ride.
This morning, Sunday, we woke up to snow. No, we are not ready for this and may we not get more this month.
Here is a little taste of what we had to eat in London. Scones with clotted cream & jam were pretty delicious. However, the Parsnip Chips that were purchased were thought to be potato chips. Very, very, WRONG!!! Very,very,YUCKY. Parsnip Chips are like biting into crispy cardboard. I wouldn’t recommend them. Not even in a boat, not even with a goat, not sitting in a moat while wearing a warm coat. EVER!!!
I think it is time that we start to be honest with each other. Sometimes we have things that make each of us unique and there things that we find in common with everyone, no matter our background. I think this would be an appropriate time for us to sit down and have an open discussion about the subject that we all seem to hide and don’t want to talk about, our love of hair bands.
I spoke to one of you today and I feel that you wanted to mock the hair band. You tried to convince me that you would NEVER listen to a hair band but I just can’t believe it. I bet if I spoke to your wife (or husband to protect your anonymity) he/she would definitely be able to name your favorite hair band.
You can’t tell me that there wasn’t a time in your life where you dressed up like your favorite hair band (even if it was to mock them) and took pictures of yourself. It is time to be honest with us and everyone else. Admit your love for the hair band. And this song by Warrant is just for you (you know who you are). Sorry that it isn’t “She’s My Cherry Pie.” This is M&K signing-off.
Here are some pictures of London. Big Ben, for those who don’t know, is the bell inside the tower not the tower itself. According to Stephen, our local British expert (who strangely enough doesn’t have eyebrows as noticed by Monica), informed us that the big hand on the clock is the length of a double-decker bus. Stephen was wonderful. The most entertaining aspect of Stephen was his Jazz Hands. They would dance on the imaginary stage in front of him as he would gesture to St Paul’s Cathedral or Shakespeare’s old haunt, the Globe Theatre; it was as if Sugar Plum Fairies were dancing around to entertain the eye. It was magical. We also had the opportunity to visit the London Eye. It is huge and scary. Kim enjoys thrill rides like roller coasters, small engine planes, driving fast around the Alpine Loop but this caught her a bit off guard. As you can see, this young chap lost his head during the ride. It takes about 30 minutes to go one complete round of the Eye. Once we got home we noticed that the Eye could be compared to the All Seeing Eye because it showed up in the background of other pictures in other various parts of London. It gave a splendid sight for us to see.
The Eye is on the South Bank of the Thames River. Basically, this is where all of the freaks reside; you might call them Street Performers. We don’t like clowns and this is about 100 times worse than any clown. Luckily, you have to drop a pound (or whatever their coin money is called) into a tin (or lead) cup to make the “performer” come alive. They were scary. One guy was living in a wicker box and when the coin hit the cup he would run out of his box and practically attack you. Going to any local parade and having to deal with the annoying clowns pales in comparison to the freak show that we saw there. In closing today, if you want some good entertainment in London, England go to the Eye and get the crap scared out of you as you float above the city in a glass pod and then get the rest of it scared out of you as you walk down the river walk to see the local “talent” earning their daily bread. And be warned - DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD!
Here it is, finally. Our blog. We have been talking about doing this for a while but have finally done it. You will all be addicted. You will tell your friends. You will want to be our friends. Deal with it, it will be the highlight of your day. Imagine eating a macaroon from Laduree in Paris. It is light and sweet and makes you want to smile. It also makes you want to have more and more.
So, keep a watch out for some pictures from our trip to London and Paris last week. They are brilliant and if you are feeling a bit peckish have a macaroon.